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Random. QUICK. Story.

(i will be writing in purple today because the CATS won again last night:)

I am blogging today mainly because I haven't blogged in awhile, and also because Rachel keeps telling me to "BLOG!" Well rachel... according to my followers list- you don't even exist!

You creep on my blog without announcing your presence as a follower. Which pisses me off for two reasons-

#1. I only have 7 follower's. While this might not matter to some, it matters to me! I know there are more of you out there because I hear from you- regarding this blog- straight give away. 

#2. When Rachel finally joins today, or else i will shut down this blog! That's a direct threat Chastain. I will remove myself from following my own blog, sadly, reverting my followers # right back to 7.

(this is the shit that keeps me up at night, OH, and neighbor deans recently installed spotlight. Which conveniently, and suspiciously shines directly into my side bedroom window- jerk!) 

Back to the Random, Quick, Story... 

When I went home for christmas, we had a high school girls get together at Sarah Clarks- of slarks remarks. That's when I noticed Radetic's save the date on the fridge (beautiful) & I'm thinking WTF Christin- I didn't get one!!!!

(Chrisin & I have been friends since 4th grade. So it's not like i'm a guest who thinks I'm invited when I'm really not)

Now, I know that in planning a wedding,

save the dates,

whatever,

you might forget someone here or there- you may not have an address,

you may think you sent it and you really didn't.

So, I'm sure it's annoying when a friend calls you up and says "i didn't get mine!"

I decided on a text- "Just saw Clarks save the date! I didn't get one:("

When we were in grade school, Christin and I had our birthdays together every year (her's is the 19th, mine's the 20th)

5th grade, we got mad at our friend Kate and sent her a note that she was uninvited, it was a big deal! 5th grade, univited guests, hey- she had it coming.

Then Christin and I get in a fight, same day, and I try to un-friend her- by signing the end of my note like this:

So when I got Christin's email, explaining that she sent it and it got returned, I told her she was lucky I didnt try to un-friend her again... because god forgive me, I was thinking about it!

In closing, Rach- if you don't start to follow i will un-friend you. I wasn't afraid to lose a friend when I was 11, I'm not afraid now.

P.S. This just made me realize that facebook has the un-friending feature, HEY FACEBOOK! I started that back in 1995! I expect royalties! 

P.P.S. A group member in one of my classes un-friended me on facebook last year- I was a victim of my own creation...Sidenote,  he was a weirdo, and I totally didn't care.

Lady Mullet

FINALLY!

You have no idea how bad i've been wanting to blog...

but i've been working hard for the money (of which i've been spending faster than I can make-- sorry mom, can't break the habit) and I just haven't had the time to make this blog entry all that I know it can be:)

So, as promised,

"two words" 

lady mullet

Friday evening.

I'm riding the light rail home from work- heading to pick up my parents, sister, & casey at the airport. To pass time- i start thinking about how uneventful and frankly- disappointing the light rail people watching has been for the week.

 Not kidding, as soon as I start thinking about this, I start looking around, and BAM! 

What is sitting right next to me? 

None other than a lady mullet- sent from the light rail gods to brighten my day! Oh Thank You Lord... this is the perfect way to end the week... too freaking funny!!!

Now, this is where it gets interesting... I mean, this lady mullet is good. 
It's truly screaming "take my picture!" and I'm thinking- "i've got my iphone?" I mean, i would be remiss if i passed up such a fantastic opportunity- and really, this is a hard lady mullet to describe-
 it's unique, it's suave, I certainly wouldn't be able to do it justice!

Out comes the iphone! 

Camera mode selected. ready to shoot. 

Lady mullet- looking good... 

1, 2, 3,


BAM!

Well... maybe a few more quick shots...

    

Let's Be honest, I'm not being very discrete with my photo op.

So as I finish up i look up and the older gent across the isle is watching me take Lady Mullet's glamour shots!

well guess what buddy... when you're looking out the window-BAM!

I took one of him too, for good measure.

The Spider Email

I realize how Cliché this is, 

but this email is hilarious, the first time I read it I laughed so hard I cried- which surprised me... because normally when people do that (or say they did that)- I'm annoyed. But it finally happened to me, so maybe now i'll have more patience for those who say they "laugh so hard they cry," probably not- but this email is great! I'm only mad I didn't think of it myself. 

Banana Republic Pants

I will make this quick... I don't have much time...

Spent the last hour and a half creating an Evite for my Holiday Party- that's the politically correct term- i think i invited all traditional people, but just in case I have a non-tradish, I had to cover my bases.

What's that? You want to know what the EVITE says? Well alright...

"Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Come Over and Play....

Wine & Cheese, Beer Pong & Smores, Come Toast the Holiday"

I knew you'd like it!

Now,

I have a story to tell you about Banana Republic pants. In telling this story, I'm also setting out to inform any of you who might be in the same boat I was... this has the potential to change your life- as it did mine.

A few weeks back i went shopping at the Castle Rock Outlets, I completely fell into the Banana Republic Outlet 40% off of the entire store! I was very excited and enlisted the help of a sales girl to help me pick out some basic work clothes. I don't normally ask people to help me, but for some reason I was in a good mood and thought i'd take this chick for a ride...

 I really needed some black pants.. if you've ever shopped for pants at Banana then you know they have ridiculous names, so I'm all like...

 "the rhonda's are too high waisted for me, and I don't like the nancy's back pockets with flaps, and the jennifers are too tight through the leg... and really none of them have pockets!!! Do you have a black pair with front pickets?"

This is when the sales girl changed my life...

"oh, they all have pockets" she says. "No they dont! I have like 5 pair of Banana pants at home and none of them have pockets" "Yeah they do, they're just sewn shut, you have to rip through the stitching once you buy them"

First of all, who does that!? Why in the world would you sew pant pockets shut? And... if you're gonna to do it.... why isn't there a warning tag "these pant pockets have been sew shut! (for some stupid reason) don't worry- you do have pockets! "

I bought 2 pairs of pants that day, went home, and spent 10 minutes of unnecessary time ripping open the 7 pairs of pant pockets. Now when I'm at the office, I find myself walking around with my hands in my pockets... very grateful that I have the option... and hoping people notice my now effective use of the front pocket.

-Blah-

Hi.

I wasn’t going to blog today.

I don’t have much to say, it’s freaking frigid outside (like a low of -3 last night), I’m studying for another CPA test, my boyfriend lives in another city, blah blah blah my life sucks, I don’t want to blog!

But I need a study break.

So here is a random assortment of thoughts, compiled just for you- my blog readers.

There is a Lesbian who rides the the light rail.

 I know her sexual orientation because the first time I ever saw her, she got on with a coworker and  proceeed to come out to him- random Wednesday night- so weird. It was akward for everyone sitting around them, well... everyone who was listening to their conversation, and you know I WAS!  It went something like...

Lesbian: "So you have any big thanksgiving plans?"

Coworker: "Just family stuff, what about you?"

Lesbian:"well me and my partner kelly are going to new orleans to visit her family, they're not really accepting of us, but her sister just had a baby so we are going to see the baby. Yeah, so did you know i was a lesbian? I haven't told anyone at the office."

Coworker: "no, no i didn't know that. "

akward silence... my stop... really don't know if that conversation ever recovered.

Now, I always see her. Yesterday morning I got on, there she was! I sat down in the seat facing her because it was the only one open. Then, as I'm giving her the once over I notice she is wearing clogs. Really? Clogs? It's like 5 degrees and snowing! Don't your heels get cold!!!??? I guarantee people in your office know you're a lesbian... nose ring, shoulder length hair parted down the middle, of which it's obvious you didn't attempt to fix, probably combed through it when you got out of the shower last night, then slept on it wet. And CLOGS! I'd see you coming from a mile away..

Over thanksgiving, i fed a Giraffe a leaf....

Please note his big tongue about to seriously slobber my hand!

ALSO...

I drunk blogged Friday night! Lucky for all of us I did not post, I just saved the draft.

But it was serious... all about tiger woods cheating on his wife, and amanda knox being found guilty, and how we shouldn't trust anyone. It was an emotional piece, and when I found it & read it, i was proud of my work.

*The*North*Pole*

'Tis the Season! 

This weekend the Griffins & I took a trip into the mountains- to the Luckylure christmas tree farm in Evergreen:) (featured in the picture above)

Emily did some research before we went so we knew this place was going to be awesome, but it really was amazing! I will quote Adam.. "I've always wanted to go to the North Pole!"

Snow on the ground, a fire to roast marshmallows, a frozen creek, elves to help you pick your tree, and even "warmers" at the register. (warmers=free shots, which we did)

It was one of those places you wished you'd found earlier- the whole time I'm thinking how much cooler my childhood christmases would have been if only we'd gone to this place every year instead of dragging the cardboard christmas tree box out of the attic and assembling the fake tree by its color coded branches--- I felt cheated. 

So after the elf helped us tie the tree to the top of my car- we stopped in town for hot chocolate then made the trip back to Denver where Emily and I spent the rest of the night drinking wine and decorating the tree... here it is!!! 

Christmas Wreath 

I also hung our stockings on the fire place! (Mine, Luke's, & Kia's)

On a totally unrelated note... 
Casey's family took pictures at Thanksgiving, we also took a quick shot, here it is! 


Something about this pic screams sorority composite, like, remove casey and I'm back in the chi-o front lawn for my senior pic. I think I have 4 where I'm doing that exact same pose... well, actually, I only have 3. Junior year I refused to take my picture so they would write my name at the bottom in the list the people who are "not pictured:"... I have never regretted that decision.

Dear Tiger.

Dear Tiger, You're a tool!

I hope somebody takes one of your golf clubs and hits you over the head. 

Sincerely, Lora

An open letter to helen, my ghost.

Dear Helen,   

I'm not sure how to start this letter; first off, I should say that I'm not afraid of you. That being said, I hope you know I come in peace. Just because I took down your powder blue floral shower curtain AND the matching window treatment in the bathroom doesn't mean I wish you any harm- It just wasn't my style! And when I yell at you for making all the creaky house noises.... well, they are creepy and I get scared... so knock it off! Also, the other day when I was cursing your name from the driveway, remember I thought you were locking my car after I unlocked it. Well, turns out that's just a safety feature of the vehicle, if I don't open the door after so many seconds, it re-locks. Sorry!!! I really thought it was you. Hence why I threatened you to do it again, ("go on Helen, I dare you, do it one more time then we'll see what happens!!!")

Now let's get down to brass tacks, is there any unfinished business you would like me to take care of in your honor? Any last words you were not so inclined to utter? Any secret lovers who don't know you’re gone? I'm available to help! Although if it involves traveling I would prefer we keep it within a 100 mile radius, I can't be out trekking around the country, I’ve got a job and dog to take care of.

To wrap this up- please stop spooking any dogs/ Courtney Kelly’s who come to visit our house. (I call it our house because I can admit you live there too.) Now if you could just get on that same page- we wouldn't have to be having this discussion! Also, what were you thinking when you wallpapered one wall of the back room in that hideous floral pattern? Same thing you were thinking with the shower curtain i suppose. (Crazy old lady.)

Regards, Lora