Neighbor Dean

Just an update for all of you who care, that's right i'm typin to you.

Over the past few weeks neighbor dean and i have had several casual encounters.

First, I'm running kia around the park by our house, and who do i spy?

Neighbor Dean.

He's got his adorable yellow lab cooper with him,

He's wearing fitness gear- i'll give him that,

But he is stopped over on the side of the trail talking to some hot chick.

He sees me too, gives me the head nod- respectfully, i give one back.

Really?

Really neighbor dean?

I know your kind, you come here, looking the part, with your cute dog as bate...

NOW, nobody is saying hot chick didnt come here with the same intentions,

but i say take your foreplay elsewhere!

This is a family friendly park and frankly i'm sick of all these people "pretending" to exercise meanwhile they look like they just stepped off the paged of a fitness mag ,

 they congregate around chatting with others of their kinD,

 Meanwhile my dog wants to run up and play with your stationary dog-

 now i've got to stop my legitimate run and rile my dog back onto the trail...

Anyway. I really don't know where im going with this.

i think just adding to the notion that nighbor dean is a tool?

Is that too much? Probably.

He's a nice guy...

He's just THAT GUY.

Oh- and the additional encounter was finding him in my backyard last night with kia's tounge down his throat.

WTF DUDE?

That's my dog! Now you've got her all excited to see you,

I'll admit, She is a kisser.

But lay off

Bernie Madoff

Friday Morning, I stopped by the gas station,

Get out of my car all ready to get gas, when a red jeep pulls up to the pump behind me and out steps-

Bernie Madoff.

Not even kidding, my stomach dropped, I'm all like-

"What is he doing out of jail?"

Now, most of you know.... I'm a Today Show junkie, and I have not seen any stories about the escape/ release of this swindler.

What should i do?

Citizens arrest?

Well- I've got on flats... and it's friday jeans day.... so my attire is agrees with this scenario....

Anyway, as I'm thinking about what to do with Mr Madoff-

I finish pumping gas, put the nozzle back in its carrier, and realize the gas hose (the one that hangs down from overhead) is pressed against my open car door.

I grab the hose- to move it behind the door- so I can shut the door, and the pump falls back out of its carrier and onto my foot.

I start screaming, hopping around on one foot. Bernie is staring.

Turns out it wasn't Bernie.

As he came forward to help i realized he wasn't the perp i'd made him out to be.

But- All i'm saying- if there were to be a celebrity look alike contest- He'd win.

And...

If Old Bernie turns up missing- Denver might be a good place for the authorities to start their search.

On a side note- foot still hurts. There is a bump, small, but obvious, and i may have developed a fear of the pump... as i already have a fear of the car wash.
Just a word to the wise, gas stations are dangerous. 

Snow Update

Snow is melted.

Do i live at the north pole?

Or Miami?

Dear Denver,

No more snow... PLEASE!

11 inches!

Woke up to 11 inches of snow in denver! What's going on?

Last Monday through Thurday it was in the 60's beautiful beautiful weather, spring had sprung!

Then Friday,

we got 15 inches of snow!

Couldn't beleive it, and couldn't beleive that it was ALL GONE by Sunday afternoon and in the 70's!

Once again, Spring had sprung!

But today, another snow storm:( 

I don't get it, and I don't like it. 

Good LUCK?

Hey All, Sorry my life sucks. I NEVER get to blog anymore... so sad.

Anyway... two quick happenings.

I had to take the lightrail downtown last week,

this was exciting because i never take the lightrail anymore, i always drive to the client.

so i'm thinking... maybe a good story, maybe a magic man sighting- who knows!?

Anyway, this cute little girl and her mom get on-

she sits across from me in her cute little pink puffy coat,

her mom stands and holds on to the hand rail overhead.

All of a sudden, cute little girl turns into not SO cute little girl puking on my shoes.

Sweet.

NO REALLY, awesome. great, thanks.

You're cute, but you're like 6, so that's big kid throw up right there and it's only 8AM!

Her mom rushes her off at the next stop.

Dude across the isle keeps staring at me, then my shoes.

I KNOW! i'm well aware dude.

Get off,

 run to the office,

into the bathroom,

clean the shoes. 

sick.

For any of you who know me, this is the 2nd time i've been puked on by a little kid.

The last time was on the way to vegas,

this kid in front of me on the plane starts throwing up,

it leaks between the seats and onto my new purse/ vera bag.

i start crying hysterically, too distraught to clean my own bags. Nightmare!

and the mom turns to us and says...

"sorry, he just overate at IHOP"

Maybe a kid throwing up on you is good luck,

Like a bird pooping on you?

Engagement Pictures!!

Engagement Pictures!!!!

http://awphotography.net/blog/?p=1891

Enjoy...

Perfume

Perfume.

It's weird.

If you think about it. Why do we feel the need to spray ourselves with THIS smell good? how do we even pick out what we like, 

and- what i REALLY don't get is that the same perfume can smell different on different people.  

Anyway, in the past couple weeks, actually, twice now-

I've crossed paths with somebody wearing the same perfume i once owned... 

And i dont know about you all,

but when you smell a perfume, let's say, that you wore freshman year of college-  it totally brings back all those memories!

don't quote me here but i think it has something to do with our sense of smell being our stongest sense? or probably in the running for like top 5: I'm sure of it.  

Well yesterday, encounter #2 happened, 

Minding my own business, walkind down the hall, catch a sniff of this perfume i had maybe a year or two ago. 

Slight smile comes to my face, 

It was a rough time, but it was a great smell. 
i start thinking:

why did i switch? I dont know know.. maybe beacuse i came across a scent i liked better? No i think it was because i got a new bottle for christmas.. but i'm sure i asked for it, so why did i make the decision to switch? What was the name of this perfume? I can't remember, wait! MID THOUGHT

that scent i smelled... 

it was coming out of this older lady, with weird old lady sweater, and odd 1980's throwback hairstyle's office. 

OH GOD.

do i really have the same taste as her? why is she wearing this great scent. 

I spent the rest of the afternoon thinking about it, seriously concerned.

Finally, I came to rest on the conclusion that her hip young cousin/ daughter/ coworker gave her the perfume as a gift:
I'm sure of it.  

Nutties, are you there? It's me, lora.

Hi All You Nutties out there…

I’ve decided if you’re (A NuTsHeLL) reader,
you’re a nuttie- or a shelLy?

 Or just a super cool person.

hey- it is what it is.

Loooooong time no talk! I’ve missed you- and I’m sure you missed me!
I’ve just been super busy with work.
Being a "first year", during "busy season",
=
Shitty January-May.
 long hours,
working weekends,
 and if you need personal time,
good f*ing luck.

Let me tell you a tale…
(it’s been awhile since you’ve received one of these)

and really, It’s only funny because it’s true,

It was a average, wait, below average Wednesday night.

It’d already been a long week, and dinner time was fast approaching. Lora (the first year) and Deana (the intern) had been taking turns going out and getting dinner for the audit team.

 AKA lora kept pushing it off on Deanna, and was hoping/ praying to do the same this fatefull night.

Ok, this tale could take awhile to tell..

Here is the jest of my “Worst Night Ever!"

1. GOT STUCK getting dinner

2. Engagement team chooses the most expensive place to order dinner for 6 ppl- and yours truly has to front the money- ill get reimbursed, eventually, but it adds up fast.

3. Get lost

4. Really lost, garmin takes me to some mattress store- not the restautant, cell phone is dead, no idea where I am… wtf Rhonda?
(my garmins name is Rhonda, i bestowed the name on that little black box after a trip to la, and I found myself singing the jingle “help me rhonda”- sold-! i will call you rhonda, and you shall help me.

5. Stop and ask for direstions at gas station, cursing Rhonda, and garmin for that matter- put this shit on your commercials, GARMIN.
Gas station Attendant does not speak English.

6. Stop at starbucks, in tears, nice lady draws me a map!

7. Get to the restaurant, $110, sweet co-workers- sweet

8. Get back to the client, 1 hour later, realize im locked out of the office building
:(

9. Track down some dude in the parking garage. Hands full of take out, approach his window
“SIR, SIR!”
“excuse me, sir, can you get out of your car, walk me back up to the building and let me in!?, thanks”

10. In the building, check.
Now who can let me up this elevator?? OOH CLEANING PeoPLe!
 Guess what, they don’t speak English either… lady #1, runs off to get lady #2, as I stand with gentleman #1… akward… akward…
oh, here come ladies 1 &2 together,
“I’ve locked myself out, I need to get to floor 8!” Lady 2 translated to gentleman 1… who then escorts me up to my floor.

11. Get back into the audit room, ready and willing to tell my horror story- nobody cares, or asks why it took so long- pass out their entrees and its back to work.I love my life:)



Anyway.....
Casey was in town last weekend, he asked for my ring- I give it to him, not paying attention, im working from home- surprise.

About 15 minutes later he’s asking if I have any black velvet? 
maybe a  shirt/pants/anything…
NO, why would I have that?
10 minutes later I look up and he’s showing me the glamor shots he’s just taken of my ring...

“for your blog” he says.

Oh of course ! (weirdo)

And ever since, he tells me I should update my blog… with his pics.

drumroll please....

HERE

 IT

 IS!